Parents Beware

It used to be easy. Just throw out all the apples, (in case of razor blades), make sure everything’s wrapped, and tell your kids to stay away from that house on the corner with the barking dogs. Of course, you make sure someone of the age of reason is walking with the little ones, and make them carry flashlights.

That seemed to cover it. We were on to the careless drivers, un-restrained dogs and rumors of contaminated candy (never happened in my neighborhood). But we never thought about the spiritual dangers lurking in that mini Almond Joy bar. The Huffington Post quotes a blog on the Christian Broadcasting Network claiming that most of the candy sold on Halloween is dedicated by witches. I feel very offended that no retailer has offered to pay me to dedicate their candy. Who’s doing all the dedicating? What do they charge? Anyway, link here for a slideshow that rates your favorite candy on the scale of perdition.

Knowing that the HuffPo is a vehicle for card-carrying liberals, I thought that they might be exaggerating, or that CBN might have removed the post by now, but here it is. It’s actually really creepy. If I ever want to read some really scary stories on Halloween, I’ll check out CBN.

Back here in the realm where people believe in the evidence of their senses, and try to practice common sense, October 31st is predicted to be nice, with Waterfire scheduled downtown. And I have the night off. Cool.

UPDATE–Darn it, CBN has removed the lurid post about mysterious Halloween stores that appear in strip malls around this time of year, staffed by temp witches and closing after All Saints Day. Too bad, the writer had a definite talent for the horror genre. I’ll admit I only skimmed it. As an ex-Catholic, ex-Pentecostal who survived three baptisms with my sins intact, and as a Unitarian Pagan, I’ll admit that this stuff kind of creeps me out. If I wanted more of it, I’d re-connect with the Catholic Charismatics or find Kyria Abraham’s Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Hall. (see Demon-Haunted Pawtucket).

But CBN has a nice condescending post with an amused, superior tone. Did you know that there are only, approximately, 55 shopping days till Christmas? That never fails to scare me this time of year.

UPDATE: Talk to Action has good background on Kimberly Daniels, the author of the infamous Halloween post.

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4 responses

  1. CBN link no longer working – “We’re sorry, the page you have requested cannot be found.

    The web page you were attempting to view may not exist or may have moved.”

  2. I probably shouldn’t do this, but until Tom posted the secret link to the post that CBN was afraid to display I had not read it completely.
    If you want to know more about the hidden dangers lurking everywhere in everything, here’s the author’s website.

    http://kimberlydaniels.com/

  3. [...] same week that Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network posted–and then un-posted, a lurid warning about the occult influences lurking in Halloween candy bars, Catholic theologians issue a warning against having fun on October 31st. Remember that November 1st [...]

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