I’m totally bummed. On the Happiness Index Rhode Island is 37th out of the 50 states.

Not only that– if you drift over the border into Seekonk or Attleboro you enter a state that made the top ten. What could possibly make Massachusetts happier than Rhode Island? We have snotty colleges, beaches and brick buildings, just like they do. What have they got to be so chipper about?

The happier states also tended to have a greater proportion of residents with advanced educations whose jobs were considered “super-creative,” such as architecture, engineering, computer and math occupations, library positions, arts and design work, as well as entertainment, sports and media occupations.

The number of bohemians (such as artists), gays and foreign-born residents also boosted happiness scores. Take California, Minnesota and Massachusetts, which had higher inclusiveness scores and also made it to the top 10 list for well-being.

Maybe that’s why they call them, ‘gays’. I’ve got an idea. Let’s recruit gay bohemians with advanced degrees into Rhode Island by making our marriage laws apply to same-sex couples equally. They’ll be lured to Providence by our ‘Creative Capital’ orange ‘P’ logo, which should be irresistible considering how much it cost. And think of how much more depressed our state would be without immigrants. It would be like West Virginia, number 50 on the list, where whiskey and country music are all they have to soothe a broken heart.