What Did Tiger Do Wrong?

Why is he taking a hiatus from professional golf? Maybe he needs a break, or a sabbatical or something. He was golfing as soon as he could walk. It may be time for him to get some perspective.

It’s not that I take his infidelity or the harm to his little kids lightly. I really like it when famous men are true to their vows and loyal to their families. Failing that, I appreciate discretion. Alpha males JFK and Bill Clinton come to mind, as examples of how to, and how not to betray your wife privately without subjecting her to public humiliation. Gail Collins of the New York Times said that it’s a bad idea for a married man to get too close to any woman who has 8×10 glossies of herself. If that foxy lady considers the cover of the Enquirer a career goal– stay far, far away.

I think Tiger was clueless. He had a blindness to the power structures that make some of us irresistible. Henry Kissinger, who is short, said that power is the best aphrodisiac. In other words, a dumpy guy with coke bottle glasses who advises presidents will always have groupies.

I think we come down to a fundamental difference in how men and women are valued. Men are admired for what they do, women for what they are. The marriage of a
super-athlete and a supermodel is like matter and antimatter colliding. Men think they can ascend an endless ladder of alpha-ness by doing better and better. The women who loved them earlier in their career are suspect. Maybe better women are waiting for them on the higher levels of glory. Maybe the wife who bore their children failed to hold out for the crown of creation they are today. Their wife doesn’t understand them. But Heather understands. She knows how wonderful they are. And when Heather gets boring there will be countless other women ready to adore them.

I hope that Tiger Woods and his family work this out. I don’t follow sports. I liked Tiger, but never had any particular expectations of him. I liked his dignity and discipline, and graceful public persona. I don’t understand all the publicity around his marital problems. What did people expect?

He’s no less qualified to play golf than he ever was. He’s not in some game rigging scandal.

If he wants to take time to sort things out, I wish him well. I wish his wife better, and his kids most of all.

And, we the people, let’s look at this rationally. Are we loading expectations where they don’t belong? Am I paranoid to see a blurring of roles that is unhealthy? When we expect celebrated sports figures to show us how to live everyday decency, when we let politicians tell us how to live godly lives, when Bishops and Evangelists tell our politicians how to vote and that doesn’t alarm us…

Jeez– as far as I know Tiger can hit a golf ball as well as he ever did. He might need a break to deal with family issues. I hope it all works out for the best, because when real hearts are broken and real children cry it’s not entertainment. It’s a damn shame.

As for the rest of us, let’s get a life.

In related developments, a New England Patriots mascot was arrested under the new Rhode Island anti-prostitution laws. No details on how he was apprehended.

UPDATE: Here’s the mascot story. I guess his career as a mascot will suffer a hiatus in the wake of this scandal.

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15 thoughts on “What Did Tiger Do Wrong?

  1. I guess when advertisers start pulling out, the mother-in-law collapses and he probably feels as you say a tremendous loss of wind…he probably should take a break and let the dust settle. This will give him more of a zing when he returns and people will pay big bucks to see it happen…yeah, this could be a good marketing move.

    Personally I detest cheaters and ethically he did a terrible deed…but, he certainly can hit more than one hole in as he has laid out over and over (a little tongue and cheek…heeheehee)

  2. TIGER WOODS CLAIMS FAMILY VALUES AND THE SPONSORS WANTED HIM TO BE A MAN OF FAMILY VALUES IN SELLING THEIR PRODUCTS. BUT WAS DIFFERENT SORT, IT IS NOT MUCH AS HE WAS BUYING HOOKERS OR WENT LOOKING FOR TO BE UNFAITHFUL TO HIS FAMILY, BUT THAT THE WOMEN FLUNG THEMSELVES AT HIS FEET. THAT’S WHEN ONE HAS TO BE AS STRONG AS POSSIBLE AND NOT GO AGAINST HIS CONVICTIONS OR HIS PERCEPTION OF HIMSELF.

  3. One must suspect that there are several “evils” that these repeat offenders bring to their bizarre lives. These people are not unlike other “criminals,” who cannot stop stealing, or worse and usually end up in prison. Abusers of morality such as Mr. Woods, numerous other sports icons, several of the Kennedys as is now well documented, even the Reverend King’s propensities (documented by many including that real hero of civil rights, Reverend Ralph Abernathy), and other elites, have a sense of entitlement and not much moral sense. In fact, one suspects they border on being sociopaths, not caring about the harm that their behavior brings families and oters surrounding them. If sports icons differ, the difference seeems to be in their limited eduation, world view or other meaningful underpinnings. If not in sports, one senses thast these “sexploiters,” dog torturers, alleged rapists, and even those implicated in murder, most would have ended up abandoned or in prison like their poorer counterparts. If the elitists differ from the sports cadre, it lies in their overiding self-destructive behavior coupled with their sense of entitlement, and not being able to say they should have behaved better. In the end, it is the families that pay the price.

  4. I think trusting an actor, rock star or sports icon to model fidelity is like trusting a dog to watch your lunch.
    My family values guy is my Dad, who raised seven of us, is still married to my Mom and acts like that’s only what is to be expected.

  5. I don’t think this is a matter of profession. Any number of working misicians, sports people, or theater people lead perfectly “normal” lives of fidelity and don’t torture dogs or murder wives. Any number of high and low profile politicians lead moral lives while others of their professions are positively self-destructive for example: the Kennedys, Mr. Clinton, etc., and include character-flawed people of both parties. There is something more to this than profession.

  6. I can’t equate Tiger Woods with someone who tortures dogs or murders people. He is a good-looking man who was pushed into sports by an ambitious father and probably has been hit on by women since he was a teen.
    I’m not saying it’s okay to lie to your spouse, or break your vows or humiliate your family. That’s awful. They will have to resolve this their own way.
    I’m still wondering why so much expectation is put on a man who has always been true to golf. I think it says something about the blurring of celebrity, church and state.
    And like I said, we can find examples of loving marital fidelity and integrity in our own circle of friends and relatives.

  7. But Tiger Woods touted himself as a Family Values man and I can name a lot Hollywood stars , Businessmen, politicians etc that tout themselves as Family values persons but are just the opposite; Governor Sanford of SC is one Senator John Ensign Nevada is another one a good portion of the Religious left is another that touts family values and are just the opposite and are hypocrites. “Don’t do as I do but do as I say I to do and then they become just the opposite when they get caught. The list goes on and on. I only can count three presidents that probably didn’t fool around when in office and that is Harry Truman; Richard Nixon; and Jimmy Carter. Most of the rest of them dilly dallied while as President. THere will be more in the future until when one takes an oath like marriage vows or an oath of office and it has meaning for that person.

  8. I suspect George Washingtom was as honorable as he appears; same for U.S. Grant, James Madison, John Adams, of course Lincoln, certainly Andy Jackson, Woodrow Wilson, Herbert Hoover, oddly Richard Nixon (he had other problems); even Dwight Eisenhower (the tell all book of his British driver in WW-II is know to be a sham); and we can fill in most Presidents, James Polk, McKinley, Teddy Roosevelt, etc. In sports, most men and women are not in the newspapers except when they compete, and are leading “boring” lives with families.

    The pathological individuals have a public personna that is almost always pierced by a talkative and forsaken lover, or a DUI or drug arrest (Barney Franks and his repeated choices of less than desireable boyfriends, for example)or aggressive reporter. Of course the “little” people (all the rest of us) get in trouble as well, but again, most of us are trying to do the right things as best we can. It is that group of self-destructive attention grabbers such as Mr. Woods, O. J. Simpson, Mr. Clinton, Mr. Enzi, etc., who have no self control or much moral sense. The word “no” is alive and well in the language. If they used it more, there would be no need for the alse, “I’m sorry.”

  9. No.

    What Tiger Woods did wrong was to upset his corporate sponsors–the ones that begged him (Please, Tiger, please take our money!!! Please! Please!) to take their money are upset.

    So now, the Corporate Media has to chastise him roundly for upsetting the Corporate Sponsor.

    This is about MONEY, people. Nike & AmEx are upset because their advertising campaigns have been blown out of the water. So they make a few phone calls and the poobahs at ESPN & CBS & all the other Corporations are all over Tiger like wolverines.

    Tiger didn’t create the squeaky clean image. Nike did with its advertising campaigns. Now Nike can’t cash in, and they are upset. They didn’t care that the reality didn’t match the image, until the truth was uncovered.

    Money first, money last, and everything in between.

    So Tiger and the Nike and AmEx execs can spend $40 on a pair of socks at Nordstroms.

  10. In the end, what Mr. Woods did that matters is the destruction of the trust of his wife and the impact on his children. The fact that he was unable to separate that reality from the pursuit of what must be an emotional narcotic, given his compusions, is the real damage. In the end one suspects that the “real” Mr. Woods is the exposed Mr. Woods, and the honor bound Mr. Woods is the illusion.

  11. Klaus nailed it. Tiger allowed himself to be drawn like a moth to the flame of Corporate America, whose tush he has kissed for 12 years (Has he ever taken a stand on a political or social issue? Has he ever tried to be a leader commensurate with his position in society?).
    The moment he upset Corporate America, off with his head!
    That said, he is guilty of BAD taste in mistresses. Yes, he used these women for sex, but they turned out to be a bunch of users themselves. If you’re a pro athlete (single or married), you’ve got to carefully vette any woman you’re potentially going to enter a relationship with.
    I’m kind of rooting for the guy to bounce back from this, if only as an in-your-face to everybody who’s trashed him. As far as his family life, that’s his concern, not that of the tabloid press (which is feeling drunk with power about now).
    P.S.: If these were black women instead of white women, I dare say this wouldn’t have blown up the way it has.

  12. Poor guy. He don’t do anything wrong after all. He just used women for sex, all 14 or 16 or 20 or 100 of them. After all, he didn’t abandon his children. He had a trusting wife take care of them. After all, he will be an excellent role model for his kids. He can teach them all about loyalty to their mother. Fidelity to his vows. And, most of all great lessons in sex education and how to use telephone answering machines. Poor guy. He didn’t do anything wwrong after all. He was a pawn in the hands of those evil corporations. They are to blame. Poor guy, he just wanted the money, the cars and the trips, and the women. The evil corporations tempted him. After all, he is not like other sports icons. So far as we know, he did not kill or torture dogs, or kill anyone. Poor guy. He didn’t do anything wrong. He may have just been a vivtim of that evil doctor who provides illegal drugs to sports people recently nabbed. If poor Mr. Woods wasn’t so in demand, he wouldn’t need illegal drugs. It’s not his fault.

  13. If my minister behaved that way, I’d be outraged and feel very betrayed. But I guess I have very low expectations for sports stars and performers.
    I’m a practitioner of marital fidelity myself, and I recommend it. When friends divorce I feel bad. I would think less of a friend if I found out they were unfaithful to their spouse, especially if they had children.
    But it’s hard enough having my heart broken by politicians for their public acts. I can’t get worked up about sports stars for their private failings.

  14. Mr Wohlberg, I’m not saying he didn’t do anything wrong.

    He did.

    But his “crime” is solely a matter between him and his wife. She’s the aggrieved party.

    What I can’t stand is all the moralizing in the p-nut gallery from all of the media folk who are shocked–Shocked!–that their beloved icon coudl do such a thing.

    And, my point is that this is getting the attention it is because his corporate sponsors are feeling outraged, and their corporate media allies are all over Tiger because he betrayed The Corporate Interest.

  15. IT IS NOT A CRIME SOLELY BETWEEN TIGER AND HIS WIFE. IT IS ABOUT TRUST AND THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. HE BETRAYED HIS WIFE AND HE ALSO BETRAYED THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, HE ALSO BETRAYED HIS CONTRACTS WITH HIS SPONSORS FOR THE MONEY HE WAS MAKING ENDORSING THEIR PRODUCTS. PEOPLE MIGHT FORGIVE HIM FOR ONLY ONE OR TWO DIGRESSIONS BUT NINE OR TEN OR MORE THAN MIGHT COME OUT OF THE CLOSET THAT HE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH. IF HE WANTED TO DIP HIS WICK ALL THE TIME WITH MANY DIFFERENT WOMEN THEN WHY DID HE GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE? HE HAS EMBARRASSED HIS WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN THAT WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS SCANDAL FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. HIS CHARACTER HAS BEEN TARNISHED AND WHO CAN NOW TRUST HIM IN ANY BUSINESS DEAL HE WILL UNDERTAKE IN THE FUTURE. ONE CAN BE COMPLETELY BROKE, HOMELESS, ETC. BUT HE DOESN’T HAVE TO GIVE UP HIS CHARACTER SO LONG AS HE IS HONEST WITH HIMSELF AND THE INTERACTION OF OTHERS. THE CALL THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE AS SCAMMERS AND SCHEMERS OR SHARKS.

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