Just Wanted to Keep You Abreast

Who doesn’t love boobies? They’re adorable! So exotic and graceful. They’re especially enchanting during courtship, the way they seem to puff themselves up. You just want to give them a squeeze.

Kids love boobies, too. In fact, some have taken to wearing bracelets to declare that very sentiment. Unfortunately, some school administrators have quickly put the kibosh on such accessorizing. This happened in South Dakota earlier this week, which seems rather strange given how far inland the state is. Do they even have boobies in that part of the country? Isn’t it too cold for them? Regardless, it seems silly to stifle the free expression of students simply because a Principal or two has got a thing against boobies. Maybe these fellows would feel differently if they could just see one up close, perhaps even hold one. Nah, it’ll never happen.

UPDATE: I’ve been busted. It appears I was misinformed. I had heard of the aforementioned booby ban in passing and did not adequately investigate the story. The boobies in question were not the blue-footed seabirds known for hunting fish by diving into the sea and pursuing their prey underwater. They were…umm…you know…the other kind. Now, I feel like a boob.

Anyway, here’s the original news article from the Associated Press:

Rubber bracelets aimed at raising awareness about breast cancer and emblazoned with “I love boobies” are raising eyebrows among school officials in South Dakota.

This week, Baltic High School joined several schools nationwide to ban the popular bracelets with a message some say is in poor taste.

“I do think there are more proper ways to bring this plight to the attention of people, and I don’t think this is a proper way,” Principal Jim Aisenbrey told the Argus Leader.

Officials at O’Gorman High School in Sioux Falls have also told students not to wear the bracelets in school.

“Our concern is that the issue the wristbands are meant to address is a serious one, but the language used on the bracelets trivializes the issue,” said Principal Kyle Groos.

The bracelets that sell for about $4 in stores were created by the nonprofit Keep A Breast Foundation of Carlsbad, Calif. Proceeds go to the foundation’s programs.

Schools from Florida to California have banned the bracelets following objections from some students and parents.

Baltic resident Ann Aberson said cancer has affected several of her relatives, and she doesn’t have a problem with her two teenage daughters wearing the bracelets. “I guess I never thought of them as offensive,” she said. [full story]

For more information about the Keep A Breast Foundation, visit their website.

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One response

  1. I’m more sympathetic to Barbara Erehnreich’s dislike of the pink ghetto.
    Where is the cure? What is the cause? Will we ever know?

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