How are you feeling today? Tense? Tentative? Tender? I ask because of the uniqueness of the date. It’s 10/10/10. The tenth day of the tenth month of the tenth year of the century. Isn’t that intenth? Twice today, unless you’re on military time, it will be 10:10 on 10/10/10. Outside of the Playboy Mansion, where are you going to see so many 10’s? (Apropos of nothing, wouldn’t it be apropos if the Playboy Mansion were located in Silicon Valley?) For most of us, the novelty of this date is cause for mild interest. For some others, perhaps members of an obscure religious cult that believe a confluence of binary numbers is a sign of the apocalypse, today is cause for anxiety or depression or delusional rapture.
Fortunately, today is also World Mental Health Day. In honor of this special occasion, the crack pundits at Kmareka are taking a crack at identifying 10 individuals who appear to be cracked in some measure. Why? Because we want you to feel good about your mental health. And what better way to bask in the flickering glow of your sanity than to ogle all the wackier folks in your midst? So here goes. We’ve sifted through the Chex Party Mix that passes for news these days and, in no particular order, pulled out these 10 nuts:
1. Kenneth E. Bonds – This fellow from Memphis appears to have some anger management and impulse control issues, not to mention an aggressive sense of fashion. A couple of weeks back, as reported by the Scripps Howard News Service, Bonds “began yelling at two youths, ages 16 and 17, about pulling up their pants” and then “pulled a black semiautomatic pistol from his waistband” and “fired several shots, hitting the older youth in the buttock.”
2. Talmadge D. Littlejohn – This Mississippi judge may have a God complex, believing either that he is above the law or that his robe confers superpowers upon him. Last week, as reported by the Jackson Clarion Ledger, Littlejohn jailed an attorney “on a contempt of court [charge] for failing to recite the pledge of allegiance in open court.” In so doing, he “ignored what most in the nation’s legal community deemed to be a question of settled law” since 1943.
3. Rick Santorum - The former Senator from Pennsylvania apparently resides in an alternate universe where up is down and the George W. Bush years were the good ol’ days. Last Thursday, as reported by Think Progress, Santorum went on Fox News and claimed that, “under the Bush administration…poverty among African Americans and among single unmarried women…was at the lowest rate ever in the history of this country. So Obama’s policies are not working. Bush policies worked. For a long time as a matter of fact.” Unfortunately, “there’s one small problem with Santorum’s claim — it’s completely false….Under Bush, the number of Americans living in poverty jumped an astonishing 26.1 percent.” African Americans and single mothers grew more impoverished. The only thing poorer is Sanotorum’s grasp on reality.
4. James Fletcher – This Brit made a bizarre spectacle of himself last week when he crashed a book-launching party for Jonathan Franzen in London and then “proceeded to steal the author’s glasses off his face, leaving a ransom note with a demand for $100,000 and a Hotmail address by way of contact.” His rationale, as he related to GQ Magazine, was that the party was “dull,” so he “decided to do something.”
5. Charlie Davies – This professional soccer player likes to pull a fast one. As reported by the Associated Press, Davies “nearly died in a car crash last year” yet was apprehended by French police last weekend “for going 125 mph.” He later claimed to have switched places in the vehicle with his teammate.
6. Sharron Angle – This candidate for the U.S. Senate in Nevada appears to suffer from paranoia and Islamophobia. As reported in the Associated Press, she recently “told a crowd of supporters that the country needs to address a ‘militant terrorist situation’ that has allowed Islamic religious law to take hold in some American cities.” She claimed that Dearborn, Michigan, and Frankford, Texas, were somehow operating under Sharia law. While the former “has a thriving Muslim community,” the latter no longer even exists, having been “annexed into Dallas around 1975.”
7-10. Christine O’Donnell, Carl Paladino, Dan Maes, & Alan West – This quartet of candidates for political office seems to think they’re something they’re not, namely “secret agents.” As initially reported by Rachel Maddow of MSNBC and then by The Raw Story, these four horsemen of the apocalypse all “claimed to have received classified information or have special roles in law enforcement,” although “there is little or no evidence to back up the candidates’ claims.” Perhaps the evidence was destroyed by Obama and his fellow Nazi Muslim socialist extremists.
Happy World Mental Health Day!