Rapture Date Moved Up

Harold Camping has emerged from hiding to announce a new Rapture date.

OAKLAND, Calif. – California preacher Harold Camping said Monday his prophecy that the world would end was off by five months because Judgment Day actually will come on October 21.

Camping, who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before the Earth was destroyed, said he felt so terrible when his doomsday prediction did not come true that he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife. His independent ministry, Family Radio International, spent millions — some of it from donations made by followers — on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message.

But Camping said that he’s now realized the apocalypse will come five months after May 21, the original date he predicted. He had earlier said Oct. 21 was when the globe would be consumed by a fireball.

Too early to be the October Surprise of the next big election.

I have a word of prophesy. All of you who believe in The Rapture, stay away from the voting booth. The voting booth has cooties. Thus saith The Lord.

Coincidence? I Think Not.

The declared winner of the first Republican presidential debate, businessman Herman Cain, has announced that he is going to make an announcement…

Cain’s campaign released a statement Friday indicating that he will hold a rally in his hometown of Atlanta on May 21 to “announce his decision regarding a potential presidential campaign.”

Cain’s communications director, Ellen Carmichael, said the announcement will be “a very large-scale, public event.”

“It’s not going to be a speech,” she said, “It’s going to be an experience.”

I see a possible scheduling conflict here. May 21 is supposed to be the date of The Rapture. Herman Cain is polishing his Christian credentials to make himself more electable, but what if the base is all waiting on a hill somewhere instead of attending political rallies? Worst of all, what if The Rapture comes and he’s Left Behind? I’m sure not going to vote for him, and my Unitarian friends won’t either.

Did he just pick that date randomly, or is there an agenda? What does his publicist mean when she says, ‘it’s going to be an experience’?

I saw a Superbowl halftime show once where Diana Ross was raptured up by a helicopter, so anything could happen. With Donald Trump sinking in the polls there’s a performance art gap waiting to be filled.

UPDATE: Herman Cain better watch his right flank, and take a lesson from Buddy Cianci, who would go to the opening of an envelope. Rick Santorum came in first in a straw poll taken at a Party dinner where he was the only candidate to show up. It’s a long road to the Oval Office, and a lot of hands to shake on the way.

PAM WILL BE LEFT BEHIND: At Pam’s House Blend she posts pictures of billboards advertising the imminent end of the world, May 21, 2011.

THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE RAPTURE CAMPAIGN: Salon has in-depth reporting on who’s paying for all those Rapture billboards. If they were smart they put it on a credit card.