As I am in something of a fowl mood, I thought that I would provide an update on the latest goings on in the bird world. Before you offer your thoughts on the irrelevance or irreverence of such, let me remind you that we humans are merely one of many species that resides on this planet and, despite what you may hear on Fox News, it’s not just all about us (or U.S.). So here goes…

• The avian flu epidemic appears to be in full swing, with outbreaks in China, Nigeria, Romania, Turkey, and elsewhere. There was a brief stir in France, when a Paris newspaper inadvertently reported on the Evian flu virus, which led a great many people to promptly spit out their bottled water causing massive street flooding. Also, China denied reports that the real reason they slaughtered thousands upon thousands of chickens was to prevent a KFC franchise from opening in Beijing.
• As reported by MSNBC, which appears to have way too much time on its hands, a woman in Arkansas (where else?) performed “mouth to beak resuscitation� to save the life of her brother’s exotic chicken (and life partner?), Boo Boo. When asked by reporters later what led her to take such action, the woman stated that she was just winging it.
• In a remote section of Papua, New Guinea (which, in and of itself, is remote, like the prospect of tax cuts for the working poor in this country), scientists discovered “a new species of honeyeater bird…[and] also spotted the legendary six-wired bird of paradise.� However, before further species could be uncovered in this “Lost World,� the landscape was completely overrun by a film crew from Survivor.
• According to the Washington Post, “President George W. Bush took a swipe at Big Bird and his ilk Monday as he proposed slashing funds to public broadcasting by more than $150 million.� However, the President vehemently denied reports that he was merely intimidated by the 8 foot 2 inch golden condor.
• As reported by BBC News, which also appears to have a good deal of time on its hands, “a man celebrated his golden wedding anniversary by eating a 50-year-old tin of chicken.� A spokesperson for the makers of Pepto-Bismol, Lotta Heartburn, denied that her company had put the man up to the stunt.

Consider yourself informed. And, please, don’t give me the bird.