An anonymous source at the White House has confirmed that President Bush, while traveling in India this past week, went off his medication and had a psychotic break, during which he agreed to sell nuclear technology to that nation and then embraced a large pumpkin, declaring that “Gourd speaks through me.� Advisors in the President’s contingent did not immediately notice anything unusual, but Secret Service agents, concerned that the pumpkin might contain explosives or a tiny assassin, quickly intervened. While Mr. Bush was gently escorted to a waiting ambulance—ostensibly on the pretext that there were crayons and a coloring book inside—the gourd was rushed to an undisclosed location and destroyed. The President was able to resume his diplomatic duties later in the day, after having reportedly been administered a shot of Thorazine by Vice President Dick Cheney.