Global warming is a bunch of hooey. That’s right. You heard me. Hooey. Sibling to Louie and Dewey. I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Or why Al Gore’s got his boxers in a bunch. If he thinks global warming is such a major calamity, then he should get himself elected President by a majority of the populace and do something about it. Otherwise, he should quit his inconvenient whining. It’s starting to take the edge off my Chardonnay buzz. And that goes for the Natural Resources Defense Council, too. Buncha tree-hugging, granola-eating, composting citizens hiding behind scientific evidence just to save the planet. Well, they oughta wake up and smell the smog and stop making the rest of us look so bad. I do my bit for the environment. Why, just the other day, I picked my empty wine bottles off the lawn and dragged them off to the dumpster on my ATV. But I suppose that’s not good enough for these NRDC folks. They’re still squawking like a buncha evangelical crows, warning that “the end is near.� Check this out, for example:

Scientists say that unless global warming emissions are reduced, average U.S. temperatures could rise another 3 to 9 degrees by the end of the century — with far-reaching effects. Sea levels will rise, flooding coastal areas. Heat waves will be more frequent and more intense. Droughts and wildfires will occur more often. Disease-carrying mosquitoes will expand their range. And species will be pushed to extinction.

So?!? To paraphrase our ever-popular President, George W. Bush, “bring it on!â€? The way I see it is that I’m sitting on some prime real estate here in Western Massachusetts. If it gets warmer, the winters won’t be so bad. And when the big flood comes, I’ll have oceanfront property. What’s so inconvenient about that? And, let’s face it, whatever species go extinct probably weren’t worth having around to begin with. Does anyone even miss the dodo? So global warming, schmobal warming….

But then a buddy of mine, who knows of my fondness for all things grape and small, sent me the following article from today’s Los Angeles Times:

Global Warming May Shrink Vineyards

Global warming could wither many premium vineyards in California and across the nation by the end of the century, according to a new computerized climate projection released Monday.

A predicted rise in the number of days hotter than 95 degrees during the growing season could sharply reduce the amount of areas suitable for vintage wine-grape production, an international team of scientists concluded in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Marginal vineyards nationwide might be eliminated and those capable of producing the most expensive premium wines may be reduced by half, the researchers reported. Although wine is produced in 48 states, California’s $16.5-billion industry, with more than 500,000 acres of vineyards, accounts for almost 90% of the nation’s wine grapes.

“We found that at elevated greenhouse gas concentrations, the frequency of extremely hot days increases to the point where it is impossible to grow premium wine grapes in many areas of the country,” said Noah Diffenbaugh, one of the study’s researchers at Purdue University who studies the impact of climate change.

“Certainly, the Napa Valley, the Sonoma Valley and the Santa Barbara area all exhibit enormous losses of production in the future climate,” Diffenbaugh said. more…

NOW, we’ve gotta do something about global warming. You suppose the NRDC will take a cashier’s check?