Proof that great minds think alike, Barbara Ehrenreich, the author of ‘Nickeled and Dimed’ proposes that we relax, have a few parties, enjoy our families and friends and keep the shopping down to a minimum this Christmas.

I would love to see what the ‘War on Christmas’ generals would do if more of us had pot lucks with our friends and stayed out of the stores. They’d have to construct a theology around the Godliness of shopping. Can you picture any of the Fox pundits going on TV and telling people to stay out of WalMart and Sears? Will you ever hear them telling you to sleep late the day after Thanksgiving and enjoy a day off? If they did, they’d be denounced as a tool of Satan by the megachurch ministers, some of whom are installing ATM’s in their church lobbies so the flock can make donations via credit card.

Their Christian witness is to run out and buy a giant inflatable manger scene, and demand that it be set up on the steps of City Hall. They have beautiful churches on main streets with large sweeping lawns, but what fun is it to put a manger scene there? They’re claiming the public space. They’re fighting the Culture War, a much more comfortable kind of war than the wars where people shoot at you, like in Iraq.

And a great war needs great products, like ‘War on Christmas’ merchandise .

When the Christmas Warriors win, store clerks and everyone else who wants your dollar will have to wish you a ‘Merry Christmas’ or be the target of a boycott and a smear campaign. Jesus loved insincere religious sentiment, it’s in the Bible.

So join up today, Christmas Wants You! Get on out there and throw your weight around. Hey where are you going? There’s only two shopping days left till Christmas…

I’ve noticed that a lot of people I talk to are sick of all the stress and compulsory shopping and have agreed with their families and friends to keep it simple. A lot of people are taking a holiday or two, and just doing what they enjoy. Quite a few are celebrating Hanukkah or Solstice or just appreciating the season. This must be stopped. Christmas is a political statement, we can’t have slackers just taking walks around their neighborhoods looking at the colored lights. If this keeps up we will need a draft.

Get off that couch and down to the Mall. This is war. Get shopping — it’s your duty.