The debut of the Dr. Laura Action Figure got me remembering this inspired letter, which if you have not seen it is worth a read…

Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

For the rest of this inspiring letter, click here.

Dr. Laura’s early training must have formed the person she is today, a PhD in physiology who went into marriage and family counseling, according to Salon…

Her doctorate was entitled “Effects of Insulin on 3-0 Methylglucose Transport in Isolated Rat Adipocytes.” According to one of her professors, she spent most of her doctoral training time “pulling fat pads off rat testicles.”

Well, someone has to do it. If you have a rodent problem you could try buying the Dr. Laura Action Figure and see if rats have a collective memory.

Another use for a tiny homunculus that yells at you when you push a button would be in exorcism, but that is another post. I already have about 700 stuffed animals that I am not allowed to throw out due to sentimental reasons, so I have to pass on buying a doll, but I’ll be looking for Dr. Laura at Job Lot.