Praise be to Allah for Greg Gutfeld! If it werenâ€™t for this dear, insightful manâ€”the former editor of the UK edition of Maxim magazine (which enjoyed â€œmassive losses in readership under his tenureâ€?) and current conservative blogger and Fox News punditâ€”I would never have known that I had relinquished my sanity and begun to parrot the words of terrorists and despots. (Itâ€™s true. And, apparently, itâ€™s not just me but all liberal bloggers and commentators.) Hereâ€™s what Greg had to say on Fox News just the other day:
The guy in Iraqâ€”the al-Qaeda dude, Masriâ€”and the Iranian dude, the Khamenei….theyâ€™re saying the same things that I read on liberal blogs or in the New York Times. This morningâ€”and I did this on an empty stomachâ€”I read Maureen Dowd and then I read Paul Krugman and I read Sydney Blumenthal. Exactly the same things that these…the evil people are saying! So now Iâ€™m asking you this. If you are liberal and your very assumptions about the world, about the President, about America are exactly the same as the people who want to fly planes into buildings, shouldnâ€™t that make you think? Iâ€™m not saying that youâ€™re a traitor. Iâ€™m just saying youâ€™re crazy. [full video clip]
Who knew? Hopefully, I will soon get the help that I so desperately require. I understand that the recommended procedure for deprogramming a wayward soul like myself is extraordinary rendition to the Fox News studio…followed by a lengthy period of sleep deprivation and continuous exposure to the broadcasts…followed by a purification ritual known as water-boarding. I can hardly wait.