This satiric article from The Onion gave me a chuckle, so I thought that I would share it:

Local Boy Trapped In Family

HARRISONBURG, VA—Rescue workers and concerned neighbors gathered Saturday outside the Conklin residence on Waterson Avenue where authorities say local child David Conklin remains trapped in a dangerously lame family, a harrowing ordeal now entering its 13th tense year.

When police arrived on the scene Saturday morning, David—who recently entered junior high and is clearly not a baby anymore—was found pinned under two inflexible parents who rendered him completely immobile. Officers are working around the clock to free the boy and give him a second chance at a social life.

“At this time we’re doing everything we can to make [David] as comfortable as possible,” said Lt. William Barnes of the Harrisonburg Fire Department, who coordinated efforts to provide the 12-year-old with a warm North Face jacket to replace the retarded hand- me-down parka that once belonged to his older brother, Stephen. “But realistically, this situation could go on for at least another six years. That is, God forbid, if he doesn’t die of boredom first.”

Authorities are still unsure how the seventh grader became trapped in such a boring family, though David’s 15-year-old sister, Laura, put forth several theories, including speculation that David was an accident or, alternatively, was adopted from gypsies.

With rescue efforts continuing throughout the afternoon, early hopes that David would escape through a small hole of free time between dinner and lights-out were quickly dashed when he became entangled in a family game night and was nearly crushed by the tedium of playing hand after tortuous hand of UNO. [full text]