The Colonel Hearts Rhode Island

Dear God in Heaven, they’ve finally done it–eliminated bread from the sandwich. The Orlando Sentinel gives us an early warning…

Two slices of bacon. Two slices of cheese (pepperjack and swiss). A dollop of the Colonel’s Special Sauce. And two Original Recipe chicken fillets around them as the bun…

Omaha, Nebraska (where the reviewer is from), and an area in Rhode Island are test markets for the Double Down Chicken Sandwich…

Some suggestions for bloggers and readers–

1. Invent a conspiracy theory around whichever ‘area in Rhode Island’ KFC chooses to market this Godzilla of fast food.
2. Send the opposite wing coupons for 10 free Double Down Chicken Sandwiches and suggest they enjoy them while blogging.
3. Speculate on the effect on future elections if this sandwich sells big in the red states.
4. Invent a conspiracy theory that combines the health care crisis, euthanasia and addictive food additives.
5. Such a sandwich should not be sold to children–pro or con this statement?

Why Omaha? No one lives there anyway, are they trying to clear it out completely and build another Area 51? Why Rhode Island? Maybe they wanted to test the effect on a tough population. We eat clamcakes, after all– a ball of fried dough with scraps of bottom-feeding mollusks and grains of sand.

That’s my conspiracy theory–what’s yours?

3 thoughts on “The Colonel Hearts Rhode Island

  1. Many old timers in my family ate stuff that would give a cardiologist angina.Chicken fat,skin,jellied calve’s foot,soup glistening with fat,enough salt to float the Titanic-get the idea?They all lived a long time and had generally excellent cardiovascular health.some of these people rolled on into thier nineties and beyond.
    What didn’t they eat?Processed food.

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