If you want to put your man in the mood for romance and impress him with your feminine charm, consider some really good chocolates. Do not fall for products advertised on the internet that try to fix what ain’t broken.

In the tradition of drug companies that brew up all kinds of drugs that don’t do much and have to have diseases invented for them, the beauty/industrial complex has to make you feel really bad about yourself. Did you know that you have an infinite need to improve your ugly self? That your man will look at you with disgust and disdain when he finds out you’re the wrong color?

No, I’m not talking about race, (see Imitation of Life, 1959). I’m talking about your personal area. You need to dye it pink. It may be degrading to contemplate, and hurt, but feeling embarrassed about your body is the first step to becoming fun and sexy.

This writer may snark, but someone braver or maybe more foolish than I actually tried out the wonder product. Don’t open this post at work, because it’s vulgar.

I’m posting a link because it made me laugh out loud. That is good for my health and sexier than a stack of Cosmos, which we should laugh out of business anyway.