Edge of Glory

I’m trying to relax at home, my husband is watching TV but mutes most of the commercials because they get on my nerves. I hear subliminal messages in them and fear being turned into the Manchurian Shopper.

But now I have a new fear (bummer after a stressful enough day at work). There is a cheap, easily concealed device that can turn a simple credit card into a deadly weapon.

It’s called, Edge of Glory.

They call it a ‘knife sharpener’, but after you see the AmEx card cleaving a tomato like a samurai sword– will you ever feel secure again? Wallets full of razor-honed plastic, invisible to metal detectors. What could a terrorist do with this?

How will we feel safe in airport lines, knowing that the hair conditioner and nail file is confiscated– while the deadly weaponized driver’s license passes through undetected by the minimum-wage guys and gals we call, ‘security’?

The only safe course of action now is to print our picture ID on paper towels.

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