I was once doing rounds in a nursing home, going from room to room. Every room had a TV, always on, usually playing Fox News at high volume. I caught a few seconds of a talking woman’s head. She had a Schlafly hairdo and was so angry she was nearly spraying saliva. But there was a strange divide.
Her face was a mask of fury from the eyebrows down. From the eyebrows up she was smooth serenity. ‘Botox’, I said to myself.
From MSNBC via the Drudge Retort, a study shows that Botox blunts the ability to feel emotion. Well, duh. What do you think you are, Spock, a brain in a box? Haven’t you heard of the body-mind connection?
Here’s a little experiment you can try at home. Smile. Now, don’t you feel happier? No? My research shows that 20% of you will actually feel cynical, bitter and hostile, but that’s because you have a sardonic smile. This is more common in Kmareka readers than the general population. Research is ongoing.
Myself, I am getting re-acquainted with the joys of shopping at Sals, so I won’t be getting a facial real soon. Luckily I signed up for Gold’s Gym so I’ve got another place to work off the stress fat. Humanity cries out for a way to be agelessly slim without giving up bad habits or forming good ones. Or taking bad drugs either.
I have dedicated myself to this quest. Don’t thank me, it will be a long-term project. Preliminary results show that since going to the gym I’ve gained five pounds, but I’m sure it’s all muscle. When I find the Holy Grail I’ll share my secret at a reasonable fee and my cash flow problems will be solved.