Conversation With My Insurance Company’s Automated Machine

Funny!

Alena Dillon

stressed-woman-cartoon

Machine: Please say the name of the medication you’d like to refill. For instance, if you’d like to refill a prescription of Nexium, say Nexium.

Me: Singulair.

Machine: Did you say, Zoloft? If yes, say yes. If no, say no.

Me: No.

Machine: I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.

Me: No.

Machine: Was that, no?

Me: Yes.

Machine: I heard you say, yes. So you would like to refill your Zoloft prescription.

Me: No! Singulair.

Machine: Hold please. (Brief pause) I’m sorry. You do not have a prescription for Zoloft. Let’s start over. Please say the name of the medication you’d like to refill.

Me: Singulair.

Machine: Was that, Cymbalta?

Me: No!

Machine: Okay. Let’s try again. Please say the name of the prescription you’d like to refill.

Me: (Sneeze)

Machine: I’m…

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