Botox Paralyzes the Body-Mind Connection

I was once doing rounds in a nursing home, going from room to room. Every room had a TV, always on, usually playing Fox News at high volume. I caught a few seconds of a talking woman’s head. She had a Schlafly hairdo and was so angry she was nearly spraying saliva. But there was a strange divide.

Her face was a mask of fury from the eyebrows down. From the eyebrows up she was smooth serenity. ‘Botox’, I said to myself.

From MSNBC via the Drudge Retort, a study shows that Botox blunts the ability to feel emotion. Well, duh. What do you think you are, Spock, a brain in a box? Haven’t you heard of the body-mind connection?

Here’s a little experiment you can try at home. Smile. Now, don’t you feel happier? No? My research shows that 20% of you will actually feel cynical, bitter and hostile, but that’s because you have a sardonic smile. This is more common in Kmareka readers than the general population. Research is ongoing.

Myself, I am getting re-acquainted with the joys of shopping at Sals, so I won’t be getting a facial real soon. Luckily I signed up for Gold’s Gym so I’ve got another place to work off the stress fat. Humanity cries out for a way to be agelessly slim without giving up bad habits or forming good ones. Or taking bad drugs either.

I have dedicated myself to this quest. Don’t thank me, it will be a long-term project. Preliminary results show that since going to the gym I’ve gained five pounds, but I’m sure it’s all muscle. When I find the Holy Grail I’ll share my secret at a reasonable fee and my cash flow problems will be solved.

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5 thoughts on “Botox Paralyzes the Body-Mind Connection

  1. Several years back, I saw Dick Clark (before the stroke) interviewing Arnold the Governator. Something about the image just looked wrong.

    Then I figured out what it was. There were these two huge, preternaturally smooth foreheads,each leaning inward until the almost touched.

    They were both hopped up on Botox.

    I mean, they looked like a couple of coneheads.

  2. I just don’t think injecting botulinus toxin into your face makes much sense.
    Joan Rivers must hold the world record.She looks embalmed.
    Breast implants are another thing women do to look “better”.
    I don’t get it.Every foreign object or substance you have implanted anywhere in your body is a potential problem
    I am not talking about breast implants in mastectomy patients-those are necessary to maintain mental health for many women-no one wants to look mutilated,and it’s harder for women than men in that respect.
    Other medically necessary implants of course are not what I’m talking about either.
    It’s the cosmetic surgery craze.

  3. I kind of like the way men used to be. They might look like something that was left out on the counter on a hot day, but they always thought they were god’s gift.
    Now they’re worrying about looking like Ken dolls. This is not a good thing at all.
    I say, put some vaseline on your mirror and cultivate an attitude. That costs nothing and makes you better company than someone who has no laugh lines.

  4. ninjanurse, I know exactly what you’re talking about! I think this is the best attitude to have to improve self-esteem, even if it makes you seem a little foolish. Like the old joke, “Who has two thumbs and looks good? This guy!”

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