Kmareka.com

I did standup again and friends, it wasn’t pretty. It stunk. Bottom line – I just didn’t prepare enough. Got through my first little joke just fine, then I fumbled over a few words, and couldn’t remember what came next right away. Doing that in front of a full room scared me and knocked me back. I stood there a good ten seconds. What comes next? Should I walk off stage before I start crying? Don’t throw up. This is very unprofessional.

I finally started back up, but didn’t recover my former confidence and delivered a scared performance. I am a funny person and am confident in that. I’m just not a great performer. Not yet. I cannot end on this note and will absolutely do it again to redeem myself. Fear and failure won’t make me quit.

In hindsight, I don’t have the head space to do one gig a month. While I did my first one a month ago, I…